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You may think of me as a man of principle, one who always does the right thing and doesn't fall prey to temptation. But like you, yes, I am fallible.
I too have felt the temptation of another woman. On one autumn day I was walking through a hallway at my school.
A woman approached me and asked, "Do you have the time? But I resisted her seductive lure and said, "Sorry, Miss, but I'm spoken for.
After being suspended by the dean for harassment I thought about the encounter once again. There she was, offering herself to me in a plain white t-shirt and grey sweatpants that few men could resist.
She was mine for the taking and mine alone. Had I chosen to lie with the whore would I have been able to get away with it?
I mulled over the situation in my head over and over again. All men are cheaters and liars. If you want proof I suggest you take a look at this hilarious hoodie.
As the hoodie suggests, men are not to be trusted. All guys would cheat if not for the fear of getting caught. To help out my fellow men I have written a fool-proof guide to cheating.
But before we begin, we need to understand why men feel the urge to have affairs. The first day of a relationship is the most exciting.
Everything is new and the sex is at its most intense. By the second day, however, you may be feeling stifled by the constraints of a relationship and you'll realize that you aren't having as much sex as you once had.
You'll also find out that your girlfriend may not be worthy of the pedestal you put her on and little things will start to annoy you a lot.
You'll start thinking things like, "Wow, this girl has some really negative attributes. She doesn't even like The Muppet Show! I need to get out of this relationship.
This is where the most important principle of cheating comes into play. A woman is most attractive when you don't know a thing about her.
You don't know that she has tons of acne under all that makeup or that she tried to kill herself last year. You just know that from a distance of 10 feet she is an angel and the one you were destined to truly be with for about 5 minutes in the back of your Kia Spectra.
No girlfriend can compete against a woman you know nothing about. It's just not possible. She may or may not have nicer tits than your current girlfriend, but you aren't going to find out by just standing there!
Everybody else has it better than you. It's just your luck. You're in a relationship with the one girl who leaves the cap off the toothpaste tube or always leaves the toilet seat up.
The chick who works in accounting on the third floor doesn't do those things and she poops cookie dough. Think about it.
What does your girlfriend do that annoys you? Dwell on all those things and realize that strangers are better than she is and you're ready to go.
Once you've got the urge it's time to cheat your ass off. The first step is finding a non-anime character to have sex with.
Unfortunately cartoon girls don't have emotions. For example, if you try to cheat on Sailor Moon with Sailor Mercury, it won't have an affect because they are not real.
I'm not saying don't do it, it's just not real cheating. You can always do it later. While you're having your affair you need to make up an alternate persona for yourself.
You can't give your mistress any personal information that may identify who you are and where you live which she might use to mess up the great situation you have going at home with the woman you are about to betray.
Luckily, women are easily manipulated by simple lies. For example, if you are really a network administrator tell her you are actually a professional hockey player.
How is she going to know? By the time she finds out you'll have already cheated with her ass and kicked her out of your van after you and friends filmed yourselves having sex with her, stole her purse and watched her pee on the side of the road before speeding off.
You might have to maintain the lie a little bit. Make it plausible. Carry around a hockey stick when you go out.
Remember to write "For use only in the NHL" on it. If she gets suspicious rub ice on your body and don't appear cold. If I recall correctly professional hockey is played on ice so the players must be used to the cold temperatures that ice may bring.
If she isn't buying your story you might have to learn how to play hockey and make it into the NHL. It's easy though. By far the most important decision you'll make is when to cheat.
This takes a careful bit of planning. In order to get the greatest excitement out of your infidelity you have to plan your liaison when your current girlfriend is doing nice things for you.
If you found out that your girlfriend is going to give you a surprise birthday present when you get home from work, that is the perfect time to bang around with another woman.
That may sound cold-hearted, but you won't be thinking about it when you are plugging some chick that let you stick it in her ass on the first try.
Your girlfriend never let you do that and wanting to put your penis in a butt is a completely heterosexual thing to do! You'll undoubtedly get home late and have to explain why.
Just make something up. Don't tell her you are a professional hockey player and had a late game though. Never choose a student in the center of the classroom or in the front as this makes it more likely that your teacher will notice you looking over their shoulder.
Try the "Signing-Partner" method. Create a system of signing with a fellow student in the class. This is going to double your knowledge of the subject because you can work together to sign answers to each other.
Also create a vocal noise for getting their attention that isn't suspicious like a cough, or foot tap. Start by coughing to get their attention.
Use your fingers to give the number of the question flash 3 than a 2 to with your hand signal question "32". Wait for them to signal their answer pulling their ear for "B".
If you need help deciding between 2 answers: cough, give the question number, and signal for the answer you suspect it might be. He or she can nod his or her head if it's correct.
Method 3 of Try getting the "Instructor's Edition" version of your Textbook. For professors who use pre-made quizzes from their "instructor's edition" textbooks, purchase a copy.
Find the correct edition of the book online and buy it. Before a quiz memorise the answers to the questions. This can be done by talking to an old student or by talking to other students who might have connections in the class.
Study straight from the exam, or if you suspect that the exam will be the same, study the answers straight. Try the "Comeback Later" method. If you know a professor or teacher will let you come back to finish a test, purposefully don't finish the exam and ask to come back on a later date.
Make sure to memorise the topics or questions so that you can look up the answers before finishing the test later.
Claim to be sick, go to thee bathroom towards the end of the exam until its over. Or pace yourself slowly. Try the "Bring Your Pencil" method.
This is a high risk! Keep in mind that some classrooms have cameras. Try the "Fake Exam Paper" method. Knowing the exact format of the exam paper will help for this, so you can write down all important points on a paper which looks exactly like the the exam paper.
You also have to include the page number and marks per question if included. The next thing to do is staple this piece of paper with the original question paper during the test without anyone noticing.
Method 4 of Try not to cram information last minute. By not spending the few minutes before an exam skimming over your notes or studying, you may not have a shot at being able to do well with cheating.
For essays, try to remember key words and points. Usually professors or teachers look for key words or important points; the essay's formal "fluff" is less important.
If you know the topic or possible topics of an essay question, cram four to five terms or important points you know your professor will be looking for instead of studying everything, thereby reducing the effort required.
For math exams, try to memorise formulas. Knowing a formula can be more powerful that spending hours doing practice problems.
If you can write down a formula enough to memorise it, then you can spend the test trying to apply those to the problems. For multiple choice exams, try "chunking" information you know will be on the test.
Instead of memorising a list of words, try breaking it into easier to remember smaller lists. Start studying earlier and more effectively for the next test.
Taking into consideration your current timetable, you can try to create your own study schedule. This is very risky. Signaling to a partner could work well if you're subtle.
Don't try to cheat while the teacher is behind you, since you don't know where he or she is looking. Not Helpful Helpful Act casually and play it off like you weren't doing anything at all, even if they insist they caught you.
Not Helpful 98 Helpful At minimum, you will fail the exam. Depending on your teacher's and school's policy, you could be suspended, kicked out of the class, or expelled.
I want to study at the last minute, but I always forget my textbook. What can I do? Write down the information you need to study on index cards, and store the index cards in your class folder or notebook.
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published.
In some countries, certain methods of cheating on certain important tests is illegal and could entail jail time.
Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1. Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0. If this is a shared computer, you might consider deleting the browser history so you won't get caught by your parents.
Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0. There is always a possibility of getting caught. If you are found to be cheating, you could receive heavy penalties, such as getting an automatic zero on the test, suspension or even expulsion.
Many schools will even mark on your transcript indicating you violated the honor code. Instead of searching for how to cheat on a test, try finding tips on studying for exams.
This is because if you do get caught, then you may get all your test results cancelled if you are caught cheating. The worst sanction is to be banned from all the exam boards for five years - which means no A Levels or university.
In some countries e. This applies even if you do not intend to use it. Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0. In many professions, you will need the knowledge you gain by studying instead of cheating.
Remember, there is no cheating in the operating room when you're the surgeon operating on the patient. Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0.
Don't brag about it. This may seem obvious but it is something people do. You don't know who could tell the teacher.
Always be aware of where the teacher is looking; no method of cheating is successful if the teacher is looking right at you while you hold the notes in your hand and are frantically copying them onto the test.
If you are copying off the person next to you lean over and rest on your arm while tilting your head to the side to make sure it isn't obvious.
If you had to cheat because you had no time, remember that it is still worth learning the content after the test.
You may have cumulative tests afterwards and some of these things could really help you in the future. Partnering is always better than cheat sheets and the hard-to-prove methods are even better.
Overall the less evidence there is - the better it is for you. If you are allowed to chew gum, write the answers in a gum wrapper, then get out a piece of gum.
It is never a good idea to do this, because you may feel guilty afterwards and get the urge to confess what you did, which most likely will land you in trouble.
Even if you do manage to cheat without getting caught, while suffering the stress of doing so, it is very unlikely that the few extra marks you gain will make much difference to the score.
And, you risk disqualification, expulsion or being banned. Related wikiHows. Co-authors: Updated: June 11, Categories: Cheating.
Article Summary X To cheat on a test, try sitting diagonally behind someone who will do well on the topic, which will let you look over their shoulder and see their answers.
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